Nurse Mom to five here with a few tips for when your kids aren't listening to you. This one's a bit longer than normal, but I hope you will find this information useful!
I've been there- you ask little four year old Henry to pick up his toys. You leave the room and come back 15 minutes later to find him still playing with his toys. Grrrr. You grit your teeth and through your teeth you say, "Henry, I asked you to clean up your toys. Can you please clean them up?" Henry replies, "NO, i'm playing mom!".
You clench your jaw. "Henry, I need you to pick up your toys now, we have to leave!" and Henry still protests as your anxiety levels climb because you have to be out the door in 30 minutes and you just want him to follow through with what you asked!!! You give in because you don't want to fight this battle anymore and just need the chore done. It's just easier to do it anyway, you know it will get done the proper way anyway.
Henry goes on his merry way and then you ask him to get his shoes on and jacket so you can leave. Now you have to be out the door in ten minutes and you still haven't showered. Well scrap the shower, spray in the dry shampoo this time. You throw your outfit on and you come back. Henry STILL hasn't put his shoes and jacket on and you're quite fed up with him not listening to your requests.
You holler from the entry way, HENRY come ON!!! We've got to leave the house in five minutes and you MUST come get your shoes on NOW!!! Henry doesn't appear. You now have to track him down and you are LIVID. You are on a time crunch AND your child isn't listening. GRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!
So you demand he come now, he grudgingly comes to the door. He slowly is putting his shoes on and so you then just grab his jacket and put it on him so you can get out the door. Whew, you made it to the car in the nick of time. Henry is upset because you swooped him up and buckled him up and you're finally on the road.
This is just one scenario of what happens in my life sometimes, and I have to remember to get on their level. Ask yourself these things when you can go back and hash out why the child wasn't listening to you.
For the first request, does Henry know how and where all the toys go? Have you shown him where all the toys go? Sometimes kids haven't been shown how to do the task requested of them and don't actually know how to do it, so they chose to ignore the request. Consistency and repetition is key here, because showing them once doesn't necessarily equate to them independently doing the task. My kids can clear their plates from the table now, but it took consistent positive reminders to clear their spot after their meal!
For the second request to get on his shoes and jacket, this is another task that maybe a four year old SHOULD know how to do, but sometimes they cannot get it just right. They may be ignoring you because they want YOU to guide them. My four year old still requires help with his shoes at times and he can get frustrated. Children many times aren't intentionally not listening, but aren't sure of the requested task so they don't complete it.
I then take the time to go back over the task WITH them, hold their hand consistently through the tasks requested until they can feel confident to do it independently. Kids won't ever learn if we do everything for them. PERIOD. When we take the time to teach them now, it pays off later!!!
Anger never gets us anywhere, I KNOW THIS first hand as sometimes I yell when I become impatient. There are times when I have lost my cool and blown a gasket, but always remember to go back and make things right. But the anger makes the children want to rebel even more and they respond with anger. It can be a viscious cycle to get out of, but it CAN be done!!!
Kids are very smart and you just have to find what works best for your child. Sometimes they are being defiant, but just know that consistency, follow through and repetition is SO rewarding when you see them doing the chores independently and when they are proud and happy to do them too!!!
Also ask yourself these questions: Are all my child's needs met? Sometimes it can be a matter of their basic needs; hungry, thirsty, have to use the bathroom, tired, or their emotions are off. When you find the root cause of why they aren't listening to you, things can be a LOT easier going forward!!!
Keep your chin up and keep on parenting!!! These are the good years!!! :-)
Have a wonderful day!!!
Kara- The Nurse Mom
Nurse Mom to Five here. I have a video here on how to remove ear wax buildup in a gentle way.
Now I wouldn't recommend doing this unless you are trained or told to do this by your doctor as you don't want to cause any damage to your child's ear, but here I show you what we do in our home with gentle irrigation.
I have an otoscope and I do inspect in the ear canal to see what is there first. You can buy them on amazon or sometimes your local store may have them.
I have a welch allyn pocketscope, but you can no longer buy these in most places. Here is one I found that may be useful as it connects to your phone as well!
Now getting familiar with what the ear drum is supposed to look like is super helpful, otherwise you don't even know what you're looking for. It can take a lot of practice and trial-error to know what you're looking at in the ear, so don't be overwhelmed!!!
Anyways, here is the video for you to view!!!
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Have a wonderful day!!!
Kara- The Nurse Mom
Nurse Mom to Five here. A question I have had before is this- are nurse practitioners doctors?
The answer is no, they are not the same, but they can do many of the same things as a doctor. I truly feel like they take more time, are more thorough and take the whole picture of the patient. Here is a wonderful comparison if you are wondering kind of what the difference is between them.
I personally would chose a nurse practitioner over a doctor in many cases. The NP's I have seen over the years have a more thorough visit and take the time to really listen to me. Now many doctors I have seen also do this as well, but overall I feel that NP's are more empathetic.NP's also tend to be more holistic, and are also critical thinkers. I have also been to a PA's or Physician Assistant, which is pretty similar to a Nurse Practitioner.
I have had many NP's that are more open to alternative therapies throughout my nursing career, but it also depends on the personality of the provider. I am up front with all of my providers no matter what they think about the way I take care of my kids. Be your child's advocate in all cases, and if you don't happen to jive with somebody, know that there is always someone else to try out.
A doctor has its pluses and minuses just like an NP- I have also had lots of great doctors that have taken the time to listen to me. My hope for you is that you can make an educated decision on your healthcare provider, and know what the difference is. I have had all sorts of experiences with many doctor visits over the years, and also working along side many different health care providers.
When would you want a doctor over an NP? Well that depends on your needs. If you are normally healthy and your children are normally healthy, than a family practice NP would be wonderful. If you have special needs or something that is very specialized then I would chose a doctor.
NP's essentially do the same things as a doctor, but they don't get paid as much :-)
I hope you can make a well-informed decision and do what is best for your family.
Have a wonderful day!!!
The Nurse Mom
Last night I had an interesting thing happen that has never happened before! Growing up in a neighborhood has quite the challenges, but I remember as a kid that I always had playmates.
Moving from the country in Minnesota to a neighborhood in Alaska has been a blessing in disguise for many of us, the kids have play mates and happily play with many other kids here. It has been a challenge in that we have to now teach our children boundaries and sticking with the boundaries.
Last night as I was putting the kids to bed, Ted was in my lap and happened to see the two neighbor kids still out biking and it was after midnight. He said to me, "awwww, how come they get to be outside and I don't???" I went to check on them and it turns out they were getting baby-sat, and their babysitter had gone home to pick up something, but in the meantime the boys had woken up and become frantic.
I told the boys to call their mom and she never answered, So I told the neighbor boys to bunk at our house for the night because I did not know this babysitter's number or what to do!
In the morning, the mother called and she came to pick them up straight away, and to see what had happened to the baby-sitter. Well it turns out he had just gone to get a charger from his house near-by but the boys woke up and left the house because they were scared, and looking for the sitter.
I could have been grumpy over the situation, in that I was up until 2 AM trying to figure out what to do with these two extra kids when I already have 5 of my own, plus two visitors from out of state!
But when we chose grace, and grant grace to those people that have things like that happen to them, we then allow grace into our own lives. That could have happened to any one of us, and I sure hope that some caring soul would take my kids in if that were ever the case.
The mother was so thankful and told me I was her guardian angel, the sitter thought the boys were still asleep when he got back, and had quickly fell asleep on the couch.
I don't know what you would do in that situation, but I surely didn't know what to do, and responded in the best way I thought.
Tell me, what would you have done in this situation with two small boys?
Have a wonderful day!
The Nurse Mom
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Hey there! I'm Kara, The Nurse Mom! I help other nurse mom's find whole body wellness for their children and themselves.
With summer upon us, the kids are getting their fair share of boo-boo's and bumps, scrapes and more! They have been out on their bikes, playing in the shrubs, anything and everything outdoors in Alaska here.
First things first, make sure you wash the wound with soap and water to remove any debris inside (i.e. sand, dirt, etc). Then pat try if they allow you to, or air dry. Then apply the bandage!
We have been going through band-aids like water, and I also have been using gauze with medical tape so it covers their whole skinned up knee. I also put a special whipped home-made cream on the gauze/band-aid as well, to put a layer of protection and boost healing! (It's literally whipped and I call it the whip-balm)
The kids have sure been enjoying our first Alaskan summer, and we don't want those skinned knee boo-boo's to get in the way!
If you'd like the recipe for the home-made whip-balm, click here.
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