Hey there!
The mom nurse to five here!!! Have you been yelling at your kids? I know I have from time to time... and I know it doesn't even solve the problems going on but sometimes the kids will stop and realize i'm serious!!! Mom means business!!!
Have you ever felt a bit out of control while one kid is in the tub because his brother was whacking him in the face with the dirty broom, the older girl says there is poop smeared on the end of her sheet and needs me to check it out, the oldest says she needs a toe-nail clipper, and the other is whining for a snack? All while you're trying to clean up the toilet water mess that the baby made while scooping water from the toilet to the sink?
Oh man and thats just the small snippet of what was really going on inside my head, and i'm sure yours when you have so many demands at once and your brain is trying to prioritize what is most important.
Then you start yelling because you start to clean up the poop sheet and realize there is a bigger problem here, you can't even get to the sheets because their room is a bomb dive!
I grab a garbage bag and start hollering "If these toys aren't cleaned up RIGHT NOW I'm going to throw them ALLLLL away!!!"
The kids grudgingly start cleaning while I'm dealing with the 4 year old who whacked his sister with a metal thing next. Then i'm yelling at the top of my lungs by now about respecting your siblings and cleaning up after yourself and yadda yadda and realize the 4 year old probably needs to use the toilet. (He's still potty training)
At this point he wouldn't budge off the floor and listen to my demands and so I pick him up and put him on the toilet. He still wouldn't budge.
GAHHHHHH. The yelling isn't working. Does it ever??? No not really...
Now not every day is like this. I am normally a pretty calm person but when you have so many demands in life all at once it feels like you're blowing a gasket. (although I'm not really sure what that feels like.... other than IT JUST FEELS LIKE YOU ARE EXPLODING) But the yelling isn't working!!! He won't go to the bathroom!!!
BIG DEEP BREATH.
I tell myself to cool it. I took more big deep breaths until I felt in control of my own emotions and then I asked him if he wants me to put a cheerio in the toilet that he could pee on for aim :-). He didn't think that was very funny. :-)
I knew at that point that my emotions were starting to spiral out of control and if I didn't do something NOW I was going to lose it.
I had to diffuse the situation and turn it around. So I did.
I told him if he peed on the toilet I would give him some chocolate chips. He peed. I breathed a big fish lip flabbergasted breath.
Then I walked over to my oil shelf, picked out Inner Child and slathered it all over. I changed the sheets, got the girls tucked in and baby bathed and into bed. Then I wrote this. So you know you're not alone. You're not crazy for feeling overwhelmed at times in your life. You got this! You can TOTALLY get through this. Just learn from the mistakes we make as human beings, and figure out what you can do better next time.
And yelling doesn't work. :-D But sometimes it feels like maybe you're in control a little more if you yell... I'm not sure why we yell, but i'm guilty of it sometimes.
Ask for forgiveness and then walk through the scenario with your kiddos once they are calmed down too and ask them for feedback and ways they can deal with their own emotions too and use it as a teaching moment later.
I leave you with much love and support,
Have a wonderful day!!!
Kara- The Nurse Mom
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